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BEGIN:VEVENT
UID:https://100pour100rural.be/resourcesensoi/?IAmNotThe60PercentOnNotLett
 ingTheSec
URL:https://100pour100rural.be/resourcesensoi/?IAmNotThe60PercentOnNotLett
 ingTheSec
DTSTAMP:20260421T072320Z
DTSTART:20220519T220000Z
DTEND:20220529T220000Z
CREATED:20250528T084728Z
DATE-MOD:20250528T084811Z
SUMMARY:I Am Not the 60 Percent: On Not Letting the Second Divorce 
 Statistic Become Your Statistic
NAME:I Am Not the 60 Percent: On Not Letting the Second Divorce Statistic 
 Become Your Statistic
DESCRIPTION: Télécharger le fichier HisMrsHerMr.jpg 
 (https://100pour100rural.be/resourcesensoi/?api/upload&file=HisMrsHerM
 r.jpg)\nAt 
 one point in my life all I wanted was to not be a statistic.\n\nCraving 
 attention and searching for the validation I longed for from my father, I 
 gave my “innocence” away as a teenager. I didn’t wait until 
 marriage.\n\nI was diagnosed with depression before I even had my 
 driver’s permit.\n\nI got pregnant at 19. I almost missed being labeled 
 as a pregnant teen but alas, here I was. Pregnant and 19. Even worse, it 
 was my second pregnancy something I carried in shame because I was 
 supposed to be the good girl. Apparently I didn’t learn a lesson the 
 first time around. It is something that I am reminded of every time I go 
 see a doctor in the OBGYN department and they ask me, “How many times 
 have you been pregnant?”\n\nThree. One miscarriage. Two births.\n\nI got
 married at 20. Pregnant. And separated soon after.\n\nAt 21 I was a single
 parent reading baby books, college text books and divorce 
 documents.\n\nSponsored Ads\nLooking For Divorced Singles? Try Loveawake 
 free dating site:  \nMeet Divorced in Germany 
 (https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/Germany-dating-service.html?
 page=53)\nThen 
 there was that small period of time where I gave in (in young shame-filled
 eyes) and signed up for the WIC program and for food stamps. I didn’t 
 want to. I was embarrassed. But I was living with my mom and she was 
 helping us as best she could. I also knew that my baby’s well being was 
 more important than my pride.\n\nOh and then, there was that time when we 
 “lost” our private health insurance and my baby and I sat for hours in
 the county doctor’s office. Every visit took hours.\n\nA young, single 
 black woman — I had been dubbed a “baby mama” and stripped of 
 promise. To many, my life was over. These are just a handful of the stats 
 that haunted me for the majority of my life because I felt like I knew 
 better. Some of these things I’ve never typed for the world to see. 
 Tears stream down my face as I type them. A release. I am no longer 
 haunted by what once was.\n\nBut my story doesn’t end there, somehow I 
 persevered. I was in college when I got pregnant but I went back. And 
 after I went back I even made the Dean’s List a few times. I graduated, 
 I returned and got my Masters and again graduated this time with honors. 
 During that time I worked part-time, went to school full-time, maintained 
 internships and threw myself into mothering with everything I had. She was
 my saving grace having changed the course of my life  (for the better) and
 for that I am so grateful. My child was not going to pay for her 
 mother’s poor choices. I knew God was merciful but I also knew that I 
 had to do my part.\n\nI understood that we lived in a world where my past 
 decisions would be held against me, perhaps held over my head, as I 
 traveled through life. In time I would come to realize that I was more 
 than a series of poor choices. So much more.\n\nSoon after I found myself 
 again identifying with the latest statistics one of them blaring in my 
 face the months leading up to my wedding day.\n\nYou’ve been married 
 before. You got divorced remember?! And according to statistics you’re 
 bound to do it again.\n\nSee, the data, as cited by Your Tango, says 
 “More than 60 percent of second marriages end in divorce.” The 
 likelihood for divorce increases with each marriage. The odds clearly 
 weren’t in my favor. And I’d be lying if I didn’t say that the fear 
 of divorce rears its ugly head when marriage feels awfully hard. I don’t
 want to do this again. The man that I am married to is the man that I want
 to grow old with. He is the man that I choose to love each and every day. 
 And how blessed am I that he chooses to love me back.\n\nBut there’s a 
 thing about odds, a thing that my past shows me if I allow myself to see 
 it. People beat the odds every day. I know because I beat some of them 
 myself. And I plan to do it again when it comes to my marriage. I mean, 
 the fact that we recently celebrated three years of marriage says that I 
 am in the process of doing just that. For many of us when we read 
 statistics an inner alarm goes off. Will that be me? Unless it’s a 
 statistic we find particularly promising we don’t want to be 
 one.\n\nDepressed\n19 and pregnant\nSingle black mother\nDivorced\nWelfare
 recipient\n\nI was a statistic.\n\n“Early Mama”\nWorking 
 mother\nCollege graduate\nRemarried (still black:)\nMother of two on earth
 and one in heaven\n\nI am a statistic. (And as I had already learned, so 
 much more.)\n\nWhatever label is placed upon me no longer matters. I have 
 chosen to stop being at war with my past. There will always be some aspect
 of my life that will make for some good data (or gossip). But my hope is 
 that my children can look at me and see that while society may have chosen
 to label me I chose not to let those labels define me. I chose to work 
 hard and fight for my future and for theirs. And because I’m determined 
 to beat the odds when it comes to divorce (not simply because I don’t 
 want to be a statistic but because I am married to the love of my life) 
 I’m fighting for my marriage too.\n\nStatistics provide information and 
 the greatest surveys and studies often go beyond just tossing out data and
 perhaps offering some insight, a solution or even resources. What they 
 don’t provide is a blueprint for our lives. And they certainly don’t 
 determine how our marriages will play out. We determine that.\n\nYour 
 marriage isn’t in the hands of researchers and analysts. It’s in the 
 hands of you and your spouse. \nSource: 
 https://100pour100rural.be/resourcesensoi/?IAmNotThe60PercentOnNotLettingT
 heSec
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BEGIN:VEVENT
UID:https://100pour100rural.be/resourcesensoi/?RomancingYourselfToLove
URL:https://100pour100rural.be/resourcesensoi/?RomancingYourselfToLove
DTSTAMP:20260421T072320Z
DTSTART:20220622T220000Z
DTEND:20220625T220000Z
CREATED:20250606T101416Z
DATE-MOD:20250606T101416Z
SUMMARY:Romancing Yourself To Love
NAME:Romancing Yourself To Love
DESCRIPTION: Télécharger le fichier 948648076612x612.jpg 
 (https://100pour100rural.be/resourcesensoi/?api/upload&file=9486480766
 12x612.jpg)\nI 
 was invited to a wedding in Mexico for two of my very close friends. (I 
 actually introduced them.) It was a few months after I started my new 
 hypnotherapy practice and I decided that I would “manifest” my 
 boyfriend in time to bring him as my date for the wedding. After all, my 
 mind creates my reality so I decided to make it happen.\n\nA few single 
 girls asked me to share a room, but I smugly denied, saying that I was 
 going to meet my man before the wedding and will be bringing a date. When 
 the travel agent called to reserve my tickets at the all-inclusive resort,
 I eagerly placed a deposit down for two people. Debi and her fictitious 
 boyfriend, Robert Wright, all set for Mexico.\n\nSponsored Ads  \nLooking 
 For Husband Online? Try Loveawake Free Dating Site:  \nFind A Mexican 
 Husband Online 
 (https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/Mexico-dating-service.html?p
 age=60)\nAs 
 the time neared for the balance to be paid, even with though no Mr. Wright
 appearing yet, I decided that I would give him more time. I gladly paid 
 the balance for my future boyfriend, knowing he would soon show up and pay
 for our entire trip because he will be so successful. I was starting to 
 secretly panic.\n\nI was still single a month before the wedding, so now I
 was getting desperate. Any man would do at this point. I couldn’t get my
 deposit back so I started calling all my ex-flings to see if they wanted 
 to come to Mexico for a vacation. They all were insulted and asked me, 
 “Who was supposed to go with you? I don’t want to be the back-up or 
 second choice!” I explained that I didn’t have anyone in particular 
 and they didn’t believe me.\n\nTwo weeks before the wedding I was asking
 anyone (even my girlfriends) if they wanted to go on a free Mexican 
 vacation. All they would have to do is pay for airfare. No one could make 
 it. I had to suck it up and eat for two the entire week.\n\nAt first I was
 upset because of my lack of power in the boyfriend manifestation process. 
 Then, my coach told me something really cool. She said why do you need a 
 man to have a romantic time. Go and enjoy that room and romance yourself. 
 It was a great lesson so I booked a few more days earlier just to be by 
 myself before all the wedding hoopla began at another resort.\n\nI had the
 most amazing romantic trip with myself. I played the music I wanted to 
 listen to and took myself on long beach walks. I ate dinner by myself but 
 received plenty of attention from the waiters. I sat across from the empty
 chair at dinner and pretended that I was with the love of my life. Instead
 of feeling sorry for myself, I was my own best friend, companion and true 
 love.\n\nThe best thing about this trip is that I really got how I was so 
 attached to finding someone on a time frame. I saw the tension it caused 
 me to put so much pressure on attracting my true love. Trying to FORCE 
 love to happen was not going to work. I allowed myself to surrender to the
 moment and let go of WHEN and kept believing that I knew it would 
 happen.\n\nWhen I got to the hotel where the wedding was scheduled, I 
 started to feel a little nervous and uncomfortable being by myself. I 
 walked up to the registration desk and gave the woman my name. She said, 
 “Oh Debra Berndt, where is Mr. Right?” I laughed out loud and it 
 released all the pressure. I answered, “Well, I really would like to 
 know!”\n\nWhen you stop taking the search for love so hard and serious, 
 you can finally relax and enjoy the journey. Trust that he will come and 
 you won’t see him coming around the mountain. I met Robert a few months 
 later. At least I got the first name right!\n\nWhere would you take 
 yourself on a romantic trip? Enter your comments below. \nSource: 
 https://100pour100rural.be/resourcesensoi/?RomancingYourselfToLove
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